hey you

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

'Hey you, don't help them to bury the light
don't give in without a fight'
(Pink Floyd)

If I had to choose a soundtrack in my life, I think I would say Pink Floyd's music because I've been listening to it since I can remember as it was my father the one who put it in my life when I was just a child.

So it is not strange that I turn to this music when I'm in a special mood. And that happens with The Wall album and its movie (that really impressed me).

I'm really tired but, as Pink Floyd says.... the show must go on!

Don't turn out the light, please.

in the ghetto

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

It was a warm night... in the ghetto. People out in the street talking in groups at every corner. Cars and carts going up and down the street. A so alive neighborhood with such a proud ghetto taste and a community atmosphere.

I really enjoyed the process that brought me into this photo. Almost midnight with an easy going mood, sharing a coke and a friendly talk, I got my camera and started shooting around while these girls, timid but amusing were laughing at the back of the place. Although it was not my first time here, I was a stranger for them with a very different look that talked in a different language. But the camera and the shooting started building a fun rapport. Gaining confidence and after several non posed great shots, they asked me to take them this picture. Funny girls!

Everytime I go to this place somebody tells me: "This is a ghetto". And I love it.

focus

Photo © 2007 Ana Yturralde

Yes, now it is a matter of focus. I know I always write in a diffuse way, speaking my mind as feelings go out but without a clarifying background for understanding what I'm talking about. And also because writing about emotions in a different language is never easy. But that is how I wanted it as this is a NowhereLand place where freedom is the main law, where comments are as multiracial as our souls (english, french, spanish, wolof....).

"When words become unclear,
I shall focus with photographs"
(Ansel Adams)

When taking photographs, I decide which parts I want to be in focus, and which parts I want to be out of focus. Now it is time to concentrate my focus on my next assignment and spend my energy on moving forward toward it. That is why I launched my ship and move into the direction of... photography! With a very clear idea of where I want to focus on.

colored lenses

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

Life is a train of moods and as we pass through them, they prove to be many colored lenses, which paint the world their own hue. And each day is new, so different, so unique.... Each day has a different taste, a different smell, a different color, and all depends on our own eyes, our own lens, our own hue. As we paint our life with our mood and our attitude.

The last two days I tried not to think and just listened to some advices. Today, I -again- tried not to think but listened to my heart through the song that represents how I feel with all this thing. Already on board with a new assignment but still trying to decide when and how to go back.

The advices said run away. "They'll take you, they'll break you, they'll shake you and they'll forsake you. They'll want you, they'll hold you, they'll hurt you" (Paul Collins)

And the heart says go back. "Podría hablar de la gente que me hace llorar, las cosas están mal, tantas lágrimas que se caen..." (La Voz de los Nadie)

a pirate's soul hoists the Colors

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

You all, listen to me. The other ships will still be looking to us, and what will they see? they will see free men and freedom! And the enemy will see the flash of our cannons, and they will hear the ringing of our swords, and they will know what we can do! With the sweat of our brow and the courage in our hearts! Gentlemen, Hoist the Colors!!

So I'm ready to hoist my colors (a free lion) and board my ship (photography) with the only sword I know (my camera) en route to... feel free again. One way ticket for a lonely pirate's soul.

thank you

Photo @ 2007 Ana Yturralde

Some months ago, one idea was born under a warm african breeze. One idea that started growing around two hearts with the same dream of freedom. And something in my spirit whispered in my ear: 'make it happen'. In a few days we were four and drew up the first outline of a big project. And this was the photo used for the cover.

The project grew up day by day and nowadays there is a different picture representing it. Now I'm not going to talk about all the effort done. I'm going to talk about the dream we built together and the people that believed on me.

Thanks to Bouba for... everything. For being my assistant and translator. For tolerating my bad-temper or my lack of understanding. For taking care of me with all his love. For looking into my eyes and share with me his dream and make me cry teaching me what 'baye fall' means. Bou... we'll make it.

Thanks to my endless friend Vero. The one that is always there, even if I'm miles and miles away. For all her support, her energy and for encouraging me when I really felt lost. For her smile, her words, her believe and for joining me in what her mother called "the most crazy thing you've ever done in your life". Muack, Vero.

Thanks to Nico for his realistic vision of things. For also his believe and getting involved in this project even if it was difficult. For all the contacts, ideas and design. And for his last words trying to comfort my disappointment. We're on it.

Thanks to Cheikha for his predisposition even if he just 'became a daddy', for accepting the project from the beginning, for his concept of Life and his smile.

Thanks to Quique for his support, his soul and for having such a nice heart and a hand ready to help.

Thanks to Awadi for making room for this project in his tight agenda and also for his fight.

Thanks to Higinio for his enthusiasm and will.

Thanks to Douts for being always available and determined to come.

Thanks to Jaume and David for their song "sonrie la sencillez" that always cheers me up when I feel down or tired. For their happiness and emotion. Let's make this dream come true...

Thanks to Raquel for accepting the project and giving us "the signal to start", for her help, calls and believe in the project.

Thanks to Nacho for his advices and for being the connection between us and the health center.

Thanks to Antonio for trusting me, for his support and sponsorship.

Thanks to Faty and Gloria for offering us their hospitality and help.

Thanks to Nacho and Pati for being such a beautiful and serious models for the picture of the promotional poster.

Thanks to Bouna for his ideas, and the concept "when the old baobab comes to say good morning...."

Thanks to many people... abORIGEN, Talens, Mónica & Javier, el Chamo, Lamiplast, Rose, Yadi, Zolo...

And special thanks to the person that, without knowing me, helped me in the worst moments this last week, the person that made me believe in the project again when I had no more strenght and injected in my will new energy to fight till the end. Guillermo, thanks so much for all your dedication, effort and last big attempt to make this happen.

We missed it this time due to somebody's mistake that I still don't understand. But with all of you around, I'm sure of one thing: We all together will make this dream come true soon. Jere Jef, Merci, Gracias, Thank you!!!

crossing fingers

Photo © 2007 Ana Yturralde

That day, this little girl gave me a lesson. With just one sign she expressed the feelings of a whole community. She expressed peace, hope and love.

Crossing fingers now. Tomorrow it may be a sunny day. Tomorrow it may rain. But in any case, I will remember the cross this girl drew on her heart.

pink

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

Cleaning, painting walls, organizing the space... for a new beginning.

At the beginning we all look at the world through rose-colored glasses, but sometimes those glasses get wet and welled up. Things are not always easy and sometimes, even if we desperately fight for it, things don't work. Right now I am fighting for something that may don't work. But I still believe in all the beginnings that start from a small step. From small beginnings come great things. As this new place that I saw from its very beginning. That was the first picture of the place, but not the last ;-)

'Pink - it's like red but not quite
And I think, everything is going to be all right
No matter what we do tonight'
(Aerosmith)

in the wild

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

There is wild out there. But also in our daily life, in our surrounding and our inside. Wild landscapes, wild skies, but also wild eyes and wild hearts.

I'll be out in the wild for the next day and a half. Won't have internet connection but will have a big big wild open sky.

the company of your smile

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

Karaba: I don't want to marry anyone. Witch or not, I will never be somebody's servant.

Kirikou: If you were my wife, you would never be my servant.

Karaba: That's what all men say before marriage.

Kirikou: I'm not like all men.

Karaba: That's true, little Kirikou. One day, you'll say all of that to a nice little girl.

Kirikou: I don't like little girls...

(from Kirikou and the Sorceress)

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

This was a lovely, cute and endearing moment... at least for me ;-) :

Bouba and I were sitting here just waiting for Cheikha when little 'big Arona' came into the room. Very serious, he asked Bouba something in wolof: "Bouba, can you get out of here, please? I want to be alone with Ana..." Then, when we were alone... he kissed me and looked at me with a cute 'saucy' look and a shy face that stole my heart.

Photo by Bouba Cissé

I like the company of your smile :-)

resignation

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

She has a big dream that does not depend on her will, because there is a wall difficult to climb in front of her. Resignation seems the only option but..... I still believe that one day somebody will come to tear down that wall...

Walls, fences, frontiers.... so many obstacles that freedom had to face throughout the history.... and now I also have a wall in front of me. So big, so grey, so incomprehensible.

'All alone, or in twos
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall
Some hand in hand
Some gathering together in bands
The bleeding hearts and the artists
Make their stand
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall after all it's not easy
banging your heart against some mad buggers
Wall'
(Pink Floyd)

the ghost of a roar

Photo © 2007 Ana Yturralde

Ghosts exist in Castles. I know that as I was once in one. They like to go through stone walls and play games on stone floors. But there is something I don't know. Even if they can go through walls, even if they change their shape... Are ghosts free?

Maybe I should wait until the clock strucks twelve to ask it directly by myself because nobody else speak my language and maybe they can tell me how I can become a comfortably numb grown-up.

'The child is grown, the dream is gone.
I have become comfortably numb.'
(Pink Floyd)

in the name of Love

Photo @ 2008 Ana Yturralde

Riding on a wild horse for the last two days. Crying enough tears to make a whole new sea. So much work, so much hope, energy, courage, enthusiasm, love... and all those ups and downs in small fragments of time that make my soul stagger...

And here I am, trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, trembling with this big thing that I created, and thrilled to bits about it. Paralysed and with no stop at the same time. And what in the world put me in this situation? Love.

Love and just love. A new kind of Love so different, so touching, so full of soul: Love for Life, Love for Sharing, Love for Africa, its people and their rights. So, even with all these sleepless nights, all the problems, all the effort and all the ups and downs, will keep on fighting to see an old baobab smiling good morning... just for this crazy little thing... called Love.

Love is feeling, feeling love
Love is free, free is love
Love is living, living love
(John Lennon)

behind the scenes

Shooting for me is like being in a different stage. I forget about the world around, about goats nibbling my arm, about hungry, cold or hot.... I just feel like floating in a bubble, in my own world... That is why I feel so strange looking at the 'making of' pictures. It is like seeing the reality of a dream, and looks so diferent!! but at the same time it makes me feel the mood and atmosphere I was involved in the shooting, and that feels so good...

The funny thing after the shooting was to realize how dirty I ended up :D

Photos by You (Youssou)

into the darkness

Clothing: Sigil - Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde
model: Sira

"For a moment, she re-discovered the purpose of her life. She was here in earth to grasp the meaning of its wild enchantment and call each thing by its right name" (Dr. Zhivago)

Who said that brightness is better than darkness? I don't agree with that, as I believe that sometimes we see things better into the darkness.

The thing that is important is the thing that is not seen... and when the lights are low, emotions are out in the open and we can hear better the beat of our soul... as darkness awakes all our senses and makes us more aware and alert.

So now I think I need that quiet stage that darkness brings. I'm confussed and need to 'see' and call each thing by its right name....

besi judu!

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

Rose is a really good spirit to have around. Being with her you can "hear" the beat of her soul making you feel easy and comfortable. Once you know her, you love her as she is one of a kind. Inspiring, intelligent, fun and warm friend. Besbu délussi, Rose! We have a biiiiiig pending party, don't forget! and maybe some more mistela bottles ;-)

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

drums echoing

Photo © 2007 Ana Yturralde

I hear the drums echoing tonight...

Strange day. Strange feelings. End of some works. Beginning of some others. And just one step away from the confirmation of a project.

And with all of that, just by mistake, an old mail dated a little over one year ago appeared with the lyrics of a song called "Africa".... and with all it meant.

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

anybody out there?

Seynabou - Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

We all are wanderers in search of something. We all have dreams and also fears. But one has to take some action against fear. So put aside the fear and begin to rebuild, every day, anytime. No matter where you are, no matter the circumstances around. There is always a chance to make the jump.

...I wonder whether the stars are set alight in heaven so that one day each one of us may find his own again...

face it

Photo @ 2008 Ana Yturralde

Lost in an ocean of photos trying to edit. Time is running. So I am. But I feel tired and my arm hurts. What if I finish tomorrow? Just getting used to the african "vuelva usted mañana" mode :P

Well now you're lookin'
for a world of truth
trying to find a better way
the time has come to see yourself
you always look the other way

I don't wanna face it oh no
I don't wanna face it no no no no
well I can see the promised land
and I know I can make it!
(John Lennon)

the sickbay

Photo © 2008 Ana Yturralde

Connections are done here and there. And that was one of the purposes of the series of photographs I took in this hospital. Just some hours ago I got the recognition of this work that will be used for bringing some light to their needs.

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
and I'm floating in a most peculiar way
and the stars look very different today
(David Bowie)

Floating.... a pleasant feeling.